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Honoured Sir From Babujee

by A.d.marks

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Honoured SirfromBabujeeNoteThose of us who have had experience of nativeemployees, or of business dealings with overseas,know the wholesome jim that is to be obtained from Babu letters. Generally such gems go the roundof the recipients friends and are then destroyed.This little collection preserves a few typical specimensthat more may share their humour.Place names, personalities, or names of specificproducts that might lead to identification have beenaltered or eliminated.I wish to record my thanks to the many firmsand individual friends in numerous countries whohave contributed letters for this collection. Maybereaders will be able to send me, cjo my Publishers,even richer sampks. They would be welcome in theevent of a sequelIn anticipation of the sceptic, I would say thatin almost every case I have copied from the original,and though many letters had to be returned, I stillhave in my possession the originals of several of thebest examples in the book.The Compiler.HONOURED SIRReceived by the Superintendent of a hospital forIndian women:DEAR SHE,My wife has returned from Hospital cured.Provided males are allowed at your Bungalow,I would like to do you the honour of presentingmyself there this afternoon, but I will not tryto repay you. Vengeance belongeth unto God.Yours noticeably,DEAR AND FAIR MADAME,I have much pleasure to inform you that mydearly unfortunate wife will no longer be underyour kind treatment. She having left this worldfor the other on the night of the 27th ult.For your help in this matter I shall ever remaingreatful.Yours reverently,HONOURED SIRFrom an African correspondence column :am so sorry that your bosomfriend puts you to public ridicule. Dont be downhearted but try to educate him from Deductionto Inducatioii as he says. If A is an authorityin English, please let the public Know about itfor this is cracKing my poor brains.Here again your ignorance has betrayed you.The expression is bombastic and meaningless.The youths of X do not care how many Englishwords Mr A can coin or manufacture, dontcare whether he can add more letters to the twentysix letters of the aLphabet ... all they want toKnow is, has he been able to comply with Bsquestion one?ANSWER 2 Mr. A having read more ofvarious papers both local and foreign gave chanceto the decision of the Secretary of State. ...Your answers to questions 3, 4, and 5 arevague, will you please answer them properlywith your TurcK BaKers correct English, if youare not capable to do so, please retire and letMr, A put his shoulder to the wheel.I must now give my general remarKs on yourrejoinder. You have been able to show hoWfar you haveadvanced in English Please acceptmy congratulation for that, But your power ofreasoning is below the average. Your expressionsabout Alladins lamp, coined English, Deductionand Induction a e meaningless.Your quotation of the Good Samaritan is notappropriate, The attempt you have made toanswer Mr Bs letter has been a useless andfruitless one Your answers are poor and weakand cannot hold water. They are absurd.



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